I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every...– Lemony Snicket (via loveyourchaos)
heronqueenblues: that’s the great part about boobs you know they never lose their magic I am as excited to see boobs now as I was when I was 12 that’s a joy that never fades
everets: falling in love is just like snorting cocaine
adamusprime: i just went to go get mexican food and when i came back there was a raccoon outside and i didn’t even care i talked to it i said “raccoon, this is seattle. this is not place for you. go live in the woods. you will be happier there.” and then it ran away i hope it went to the woods it will be happier there i have no way of knowing where it will go because raccoons cannot...
thegrainbelt-deactivated2012041 asked: spaghettios are beautiful
I GOT TOO EXCITED AFTER THAT POST AND ATE THE 3 MEATBALLS I WAS SAVING TILL THE END IN ONE BITE. I’M ALMOST CRYING ALL THE CRIES.
i just ate some spaghetti-o’s. the kind with the gross-yet-addictive meatballs. yeah. that was delicious. i felt so happy in those moments.
I just felt quite clever whilst at work, talking to my buddy. I called myself a “faux ho.” Because, you see, I pretend to be ho-ish, but it’s all a lie. Faux ho!! Brilliant, right? I thought so as well, until my buddy says, “Oh no, honey, that’s just a cute word for a tease.” …. Shit.
vondell-swain: i’m starting a new hot air balloon business, but I might need some help getting it off the ground
adamusprime: she sells seashells on the seashore what a shitty place to sell seashells you can get them for free literally feet from where she is selling them
quiescent adolescent: thespacesamidlove: In an... →
thespacesamidlove: In an effort to get people to look into each other’s eyes more, and also to appease the mutes, the government has decided to allot each person exactly one hundred and sixty-seven words, per day. When the phone rings, I put it to my ear without saying hello. In the… legitimately my favorite poem
lightinthewoods: cwentzel: lightinthewoods: i think this is peanut butter fudge thank you yesterday me I am starting to doubt our “only tipsy” diagnosis with this post haha what? why? this is the most sober-sounding thing i’ve posted all night (this is how oliver writes i’m in love with oliver he’s having an influence on me) dear god, e-dawg, I know Oliver is awesome and stuff but you...
wait… evening is night, right?
lightinthewoods: i think this is peanut butter fudge thank you yesterday me I am starting to doubt our “only tipsy” diagnosis with this post haha
pvlse: to be honest I wouldn’t do shit for a klondike bar
I've never seen sex and the city but here I'll...
youngstero: that brunette one: I haven’t had sex in SIX MONTHS! they all look shocked brunette: ugh I need a diet coke the slutty old one: no honey, you need a diet COCK
So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if...– John Green, Looking for Alaska (Skrillex Remix)
I’m not saying that everything is survivable. Just that everything except the...– John Green, Paper Towns (Skrillex Remix)
youngstero: look at me full of oatmeal full of courage out to conquer the day
Me: They brought these stones from Wales.
Chelsea: Why whales be eatin rocks?
Me: ...Are you serious?
Chelsea: ...Wait, you mean the place, don't you?
Me: Oh my god, Chelsea.
‘Everyone Poops in My Pants’ is a sad story, whereas ‘Everyone Poops in Your...– Hank Green, (x)
adamusprime: what if john green had finished tfios with “like dis if u cry everytim”
adamusprime: delicious spread and band name typo